Positive Spinning
The last two weeks have come straight from hell, workwise. It's not even the kids - it's all the other stuff. The other stuff being demanding parents and uncooperative co-workers. In addition, the people I've come in contact with have been pretty negative, but then again, maybe they're reacting to me. I've had to sit in meetings lately (which in January and February I have at least one or two a day on top of my normal responsibilities) and listen to a parent call her son lazy, listen to a parent dictate goals to me (because, God knows, I don't know how to write appropriate goals), listen to a teacher tell a parent "your child can't do ______" with the blank representing a laundry list of skills the kid doesn't have, listen to teachers backstab other teachers, and see my colleague who is also a speech therapist shed tears over being backstabbed (I prefer to show my stress by having bad hair and attempting to conceal all the pimples that have broken out on my chin).
Where does the "positive spin" come in, you ask? Well, during my weeks in hell, I have vented to H, who has been a very good sport and listened to all my rantings and ravings. In expressing frustration about the first situation - a parent calling her son lazy (with him sitting right there to hear it), he suggested putting a positive spin on her complaint that he "watches too much tv". Instead, wouldn't it be nicer to say "he makes valuable contributions to the Nielsen ratings"? I know he was trying to lighten the mood, but he wasn't far off the mark. Learning to put a positive spin on things was something I remember learning as a grad student in my program. I'm sure it's part of teachers' education also, but sometimes I can't tell. It seems to be one of those lost arts. I know plenty of people who get fed up with being "PC", but jeez, there's a time and a place. There's also a difference between being "PC" and stating the truth, but in a nice way.
Positive spins don't just relate to what I see happening around me, but it also has to do with what I need to do in order to stay sane. For example, instead of viewing the demanding parent as a "pain in my ass", I could view her as a learning experience. I remember living with my mom when I was finishing school. When I came home to complain about this one particular professor, she basically told me to "shut up about it" (which is our favorite line from "A League Of Their Own") and realize that I will always have difficult people to work with throughout life. My professor was just breaking me in as part of my education. At the time, that's not what I wanted to hear, but it was (and still is) the truth. So now, why is it so hard to stop myself in the middle of my little pity parties? A little bit of positive spinning could make my life (and everyone's lives around me) a little better.
Where does the "positive spin" come in, you ask? Well, during my weeks in hell, I have vented to H, who has been a very good sport and listened to all my rantings and ravings. In expressing frustration about the first situation - a parent calling her son lazy (with him sitting right there to hear it), he suggested putting a positive spin on her complaint that he "watches too much tv". Instead, wouldn't it be nicer to say "he makes valuable contributions to the Nielsen ratings"? I know he was trying to lighten the mood, but he wasn't far off the mark. Learning to put a positive spin on things was something I remember learning as a grad student in my program. I'm sure it's part of teachers' education also, but sometimes I can't tell. It seems to be one of those lost arts. I know plenty of people who get fed up with being "PC", but jeez, there's a time and a place. There's also a difference between being "PC" and stating the truth, but in a nice way.
Positive spins don't just relate to what I see happening around me, but it also has to do with what I need to do in order to stay sane. For example, instead of viewing the demanding parent as a "pain in my ass", I could view her as a learning experience. I remember living with my mom when I was finishing school. When I came home to complain about this one particular professor, she basically told me to "shut up about it" (which is our favorite line from "A League Of Their Own") and realize that I will always have difficult people to work with throughout life. My professor was just breaking me in as part of my education. At the time, that's not what I wanted to hear, but it was (and still is) the truth. So now, why is it so hard to stop myself in the middle of my little pity parties? A little bit of positive spinning could make my life (and everyone's lives around me) a little better.
posted by Notta Wallflower at 5:08 PM
14 Comments:
listen to a teacher tell a parent "your child can't do ______" with the blank representing a laundry list of skills the kid doesn't have
Ouch. Of all these lousy things, this is probably the worst. What's with teachers dogging other teachers too? I thought you were all supposed to stick together. I feel bad for your friend who got backstabbed.
Positive spin? You get a few months off every year. ;)
As for PC, well, it depends on the age group. PC needs to be out of college completely, but when grade school kids are involved, I could see its place.
ZS - Trust me, I LIVE for my breaks and I love my time off. I'd never be able to work in a school setting without the breaks. I'm not sure why the teachers are this way - I've never encountered it before (not to this magnitude).
Kitkat- You're right - these are big issues. It's very odd for me to be in a school where teachers are not supportive of each other. I've never felt less respected than I have this year. while I'm saving up to start my own business, I'm looking for another district to work in. Now at least I can go off of others' recommendations.
WOW, you've got a LOT of stress there girl!!
I've always said something similar to what your Mom said: No job is ever perfect. No matter the profession, we all have to deal with the same, basic personality types. You just seem to have a bigger concentration of them where you are. :(
TSHS - In education, it's gotten worse over the years as far as pushy personalities. The one thing that remains constant is the group of kids I work with, no matter what their ages. That's the part I always (well, almost always) enjoy. :-P
I deal with spinmeisters all day long, and I say, don't join them! We need a little brutal honesty out there.
And whose fault is it that a kid watches too much tv, anyway? Wouldn't that be the parent's responsibility?
Tessence - Believe me, I see a real lack of parental responsibility on a daily basis. Grr! You're right - I just should not join the ranks of the spinmeisters. I've never heard that term before. :-P
a) PC is just a euphemism for being courteous and polite, which last time I checked was considered a good thing, except by those who prefer to be boorish.
b) your mom's advice was/is excellent.
c) the best spin you can put on your backstabbing co-workers is "thank God thats not me!" And understand that others will recognize that you look good in comparison!
GWB - That's the thing - my usual approach is to be careful in my wording and be as courteous as I can be when dealing with parents. It has never steered me wrong. However, because it takes a lot of control at times, I think my opinions are a little more freeflowing in other areas (like responding to people's blogs) and I'm not as careful with what I say. Yep, my mom is a smart lady - and one of the best out there. While I'm glad I'm not the one being backstabbed or the backstabber, I never assume that someone won't turn on me. I know better.
Yeah, it's sad for the kids. So many parents expect daycare, school, and TV to raise their kids.
My approach to backstabbers is to give them enough rope and they'll eventually hang themselves!
TSHS - That's true. I also am pretty close mouthed around people like that and I just keep my distance and do my job. That's the best anyone can do.
Ouch.
And I thought I had problems.
I can't understand how the kids are supposed to bloom into clever, well-adjusted adults... but maybe there's some extra magic at work in the hands of a precious few.
faltening - comes with the territory, I guess. :-P
Ali - Thanks - I almost forgot what tomorrow is. :-P
Way to be positive. I for one am proud of you for making the effort.
Thanks, Kari. Things are finally settling down.. a little. :-)
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