I Don't Care If You Know the Answer - It's the Process
"I don't care that you know the right answer - it's the process that's important!". I have said this phrase more than once to K in the last couple of days as we have begun our work together on improving academics (math and writing/organization) so he doesn't go through the inevitable "backslide" over the summer. Yesterday was a good example. I have a computer program called "Math Success 2006 for Middle School", which provides tutorials, examples, and short practices for various skill sets. Since K will be going into pre-algebra in the fall (and has historically had difficulties with math), I decided to give him a head start by tutoring him myself this summer . Yesterday we did a tutorial on fractions and percents - especially focusing on converting fractions to percents and vice versa. After that, he had to do ten problems on paper to convert fractions into percents. Even after it clearly stated at the top the three steps to do these problems, K started out by just simply listing the percents for the problems he knew. He then became upset when I erased all his answers and said "show your work - like in the example". I could see him beginning to shut down, but then I explained the importance of following directions and following the process of math. I further explained that his math teacher from last year had explained that most of K's poor grades on assignments had been because he didn't follow the process - not because he hadn't gotten the answer correct. K relented, let me do one of the problems on paper for him to show him what I expected, then did the rest of them with me sitting next to him with an occasional "this is hard" or "are we done yet?".
Just as I had begun to question my decision to forego Sylvan, and have been dealing with the battle of wills, I realized that this is not just about K learning. By working with him myself, I actually get to see where the breakdowns occur in K's learning processes. In the past, I've let him be pretty self-sufficient with his homework, and it worked okay up until the sixth grade, when it bit us both in the bums. However, K has had a theme in his attitude towards school work from a very young age (about third grade), which is "why should I explain how I got the answer when the teacher already knows?". It's just that, when he was younger, he was strong enough in other areas to compensate. But, if anything is difficult, he'd rather avoid it - and things got difficult pretty quickly once he reached the secondary level. On top of it all, when doing any kind of assignment (math or writing), if there are small parts that need to be detailed and organized, that's where there is considerable gnashing of teeth and head-butting.
I wonder... how much of one's temperament and attitude towards school work transfer to every day life beyond high school? I try to explain things to K in a way so that he knows I am thinking about what is beyond this madness he calls junior high, but I don't know that I always am able to get through to him. I ask him what he wants for himself and out of life, and he is able to tell me, and says that he understands what is required to get there, but I wonder if he really believes it. I guess I'm going through what most parents of teens go through - trying to picture exactly how my son will fit into this world and hoping he will make choices that will make his life better, and not worse.
Just as I had begun to question my decision to forego Sylvan, and have been dealing with the battle of wills, I realized that this is not just about K learning. By working with him myself, I actually get to see where the breakdowns occur in K's learning processes. In the past, I've let him be pretty self-sufficient with his homework, and it worked okay up until the sixth grade, when it bit us both in the bums. However, K has had a theme in his attitude towards school work from a very young age (about third grade), which is "why should I explain how I got the answer when the teacher already knows?". It's just that, when he was younger, he was strong enough in other areas to compensate. But, if anything is difficult, he'd rather avoid it - and things got difficult pretty quickly once he reached the secondary level. On top of it all, when doing any kind of assignment (math or writing), if there are small parts that need to be detailed and organized, that's where there is considerable gnashing of teeth and head-butting.
I wonder... how much of one's temperament and attitude towards school work transfer to every day life beyond high school? I try to explain things to K in a way so that he knows I am thinking about what is beyond this madness he calls junior high, but I don't know that I always am able to get through to him. I ask him what he wants for himself and out of life, and he is able to tell me, and says that he understands what is required to get there, but I wonder if he really believes it. I guess I'm going through what most parents of teens go through - trying to picture exactly how my son will fit into this world and hoping he will make choices that will make his life better, and not worse.
posted by Notta Wallflower at 6:25 AM
13 Comments:
Kit - I wasn't sure when I started because we tend to clash, but I like working with him. I'm an educator, so I should be able to work with my own son, is my impression. K's sixth grade teacher did not seem at all concerned when he was getting a "D" in math - her response was "well, a D is a passing grade" and "his grades don't count yet". I could not figure out why she's teaching if this was her attitude. Luckily, his seventh grade math teacher had a more positive attitude and has started to help K gain self confidence in math.
For K, I'm trying to find things that are applicable - he likes computers and science. He likes to buy things, also, so maybe looking at sales items, computer performance (he will be helping to build a computer shortly), and tax on things purchased. I'll have to brainstorm a bit more to find real life activities where he has to follow a certain process. He's more apt to follow a process for things he enjoys, but doesn't generalize those skills to things he doesn't particularly like. Part of it is maturity - sucking it up and doing what's required whether we like it or not.
A guy asks the blonde,
"May I ask you a serious question".
She replies,
"Yes sir you certainly may".
He replies,
"That is the answer, how on earth did you know the question.
I am fully aware of the process of leaning. I was taught By the non calculator and big stick system.
learning. typo
Vest - I was talking last night about it to H and was explaining that, when I was in school and doing math, the processes are what saved me. If I knew and followed that, then I could do math. Otherwise, I think I'd have been lost. We weren't allowed to use calculators either, but I don't remember any big sticks. :-P
Great Post! The only course I ever Flunked was Algebra in High School. So, one summer I hired one of the school's teachers and paid for my lessons by installing outdoor TV roof antennas and his wife served a picher of Lemmonade. His rule was simple. Ask as many questions as you want and I ended up with a high B!
Michael - Thanks! What a great success story - my son is slowly coming around, but it takes a bit for him to "buy into it".
I am tempted to describe my own early days of schooling but it would drag on too long, condensing it however, here goes.
Country bumpkin school 50 ch 5-11, 2 sch/ teachers (fem).standards poor, second sch at nine years much better, fewer distractions ie country life-fishing-animals and rambling. At 2nd school I received extra tuition, passed the then 11 plus exam UK.
Next five years in a charity boarding school(Hell on earth)run on military principles, our teachers (tormentors)carried canes tucked under their arms, providing the ever present fear and stress factors, for late developers absolute misery.
brighter boys were given the privilege of lording it over us, although eventually I also developed to that stage(but less brutal)although not a particularly great leader, I survived my fist occupation from 15.5years to 40 years of age(pensioned and still being paid 25% of my salary at retirement). traveled to 78 diff countries some multiple times, now lazy well off ex Co/Dir, distributing handouts to impoverished relatives.
NW please Email me should you wish me to send you(free gratis)a copy of my memoirs.
Have a dekko at vests new menu
Vest - You've led quite a life. Your schooling experience makes me wince. I wish I could say that there are no more "harsh" teachers, but that's not the case, or kids who have the "upper hand" over other kids. :-/ Some things never change. It would have been nice to have a smaller school, though.
I think a huge part of our attitude towards school work follows us into adulthood. School is where we learn about committment, the learning process, and social structure in general. People who slacked off in school tend to be slackers as adults, and they are less likely to continue their education. There are very few people working the check out counter at Sears who had a 4.0 in high school.
There are a lot of great websites to help you find activites that are fun and educational, and looking at some lesson plan sites might give you some ideas!
N W: Send postal address for delivery
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