I Want My Mommy!!!!

Today was the first day of school for our district. It started out so promising - I got to work in one piece and without being stressed from the drive, people had smiles on their faces, and it wasn't too cold, despite the layer of fog. Then, the children arrived. The start of school can be such a harrowing time, not just for the students, but for their parents. I anticipated having to calm down students who are "high needs", so I tended to rotate between those classrooms, but they were just fine. Suddenly, I was summoned to the kindergarten classroom. Apparently, "Johnny" would not separate from mom, and she needed to return to work. When I got there, he was sitting on his square of the classroom carpet while the teacher was informing the class about the rules. Johnny was not listening to a word she said, but instead had his gaze fixed upon his mother, who was crying silently, while he whispered commands for her "not to leave" and to "stay right there". When the children were allowed to stand and move around, Johnny went straight to his mother and attached himself firmly to her thigh, and it all went downhill from there. I thought I won him over at one point when I had him in the middle of the room doing puzzles with other kids, but mother did not take my cue to leave, but began moving towards her son and snapping pictures with her digital camera. But alas, he became aware of her continued presence, and resumed his post as her "leg tumor" (which is my term of endearment for a child who can't separate from his mother). I thought I had a second chance to integrate him into the classroom when it was time for snack and recess, but mother remained by his side asking him questions like "do you want to go play with your friends?". At one point, mother did break away to use the restroom, at which point I had to grab Johnny so he would not run after her. I think I finally have my hearing back after the temporary impairment from Johnny's wails of despair yelled into my right ear. After mother came back, there was no way in hell Johnny would let her out of his sight. Finally, accepting defeat, I mentioned to her that it was her choice to either take him home, or for me to hold him while she made her exit. She opted to take him home. Before they left, I told Johnny that I looked forward to seeing him the next day, that he would come to kindergarten like a big boy, and that mommy would not be staying with him.

It's difficult for me to deal with situations like this. At first, I was sympathetic with the mother, but that quickly faded as it became clear that she would not leave Johnny. When my son was young, he pulled the same thing in preschool. The difference is that I actually left him, and he was fine after five minutes. It didn't take even a week for the behavior to stop. I also could not understand why she would ask the child what he wanted to do - it's obvious what he wanted. How hard is it to say "you need to do this"? When do kids begin learning that there are just certain things that have to happen in this world? The icing on the cake was when he would shoot her glances that clearly said "I have you right where I want you". That was the point I quit trying and asked her to either let me take him and help him join his class or take him home. I hope that I will see him tomorrow sans mother.