Thursday, August 17, 2006

Misplaced Baby

Last night was a doozie of a nightmare. H and I finally had a baby, who we named "Alex". It was difficult to tell whether it was a boy or a girl since we never changed its diaper. In fact, he or she remained tightly swaddled in a receiving blanket so that we were just only able to see a head full of dark hair and intense blue eyes. We finally took Alex to the doctor for a well-baby check, and while we were on the bus, there were a few couples who I'd gone to high school with. I asked one of them for a fresh diaper because I figured it would be awful to take our baby to the doctor without having changed the diaper. He would certainly realize at that point that H and I were neglecting our baby. We signed in and sat in a large waiting room with several different sections. I carefully placed Alex on the floor underneath my chair. Pretty soon, our names were called and we wandered off to a parenting class. While we were in the class, I realized that I left Alex under the chair in the waiting room and became panicked. I yelled at H to go find our baby, meanwhile I cried to anyone who would listen and insisted that "I'm really not a bad parent - I've never lost a baby before". People nodded their heads sagely, but gave me "the look" - the look that said they didn't believe a word I said. I became more and more hysterical, and went to look for our baby because H was taking a really long time. I went back in the waiting room, and it had changed - not only the layout, but all the people were different. I started looking under chairs, and I found several babies, but not one of them was Alex. I started wailing and accusing other mothers of stealing my baby. Just as I was about to call the authorities, I woke up.

14 Comments:

Blogger tshsmom said...

That IS a nightmare!! You not only had the panic of losing the baby, but also the fear of being a bad parent, which is what we all worry about.

12:26 PM  
Blogger Purring said...

Horrid! Poor girl. I'm sure you will be a GREAT parent. Maybe you should stop eating anchovies before bed?

11:34 AM  
Blogger Notta Wallflower said...

TSHS - Oddly enough, when I was a young parent, I didn't worry a lot about not being the best parent. Now that I'm older I worry. How silly is that? :-P

Julia - I'm glad I'm not the only one with these dreams. I'm not even pregnant and having these, it's so weird.

Kari - Your comment makes me try to think back to what I had before bed - maybe I had sugar. I need to pay more attention to that stuff. :-)

2:25 PM  
Blogger Angelique said...

That is a nightmare! I know this is wierd but I have had the same dream but I dreamnt I left my baby on top of my car and I drove off. I woke up terrified and it took me a bit to realize that I don't have any kids. What's that all about? I think it is anxiety because the hubbie and I are thinking about having kids and in a way it's exciting but terrifying, too.

2:32 PM  
Blogger Notta Wallflower said...

Angelique - I haven't said much, but I hope that more children are in my future. With my biological clock ticking, I guess it's been on my mind more lately - both the hopes and the fears. :-P

3:51 PM  
Blogger Vest said...

Could be a sinister guilt thingy, have you been ordering your pizzas with extra anchovies recently.

5:03 AM  
Blogger Notta Wallflower said...

Vest - Nope, I don't even eat anchovies. I never thought of it as a guilt thing, but I guess it could be. I'm pretty good at beating myself up. :-P

7:34 AM  
Blogger Vest said...

Didn't you see that movie, about pizzas being delivered with extra anchovies?

6:56 PM  
Blogger Notta Wallflower said...

Vest - No, I guess not. I watch too many movies - I can't remember all the ones I've seen. :-P

8:00 PM  
Blogger Carrie said...

FINALLY, huh?

12:22 PM  
Blogger Notta Wallflower said...

Tessence - I didn't even think of my choice of wording. :-P I should count on you to catch stuff like that. I guess what I meant was that, in my nightmare, we tried for some time to have a child. As far as how that relates to real life, let's just say that I'm feeling my age. :-/

5:56 PM  
Blogger The Zombieslayer said...

Okay, time for a dream interpretation...

My guess - you have deep fears that you don't know your child as well as you should. You fear that you are distant, not in a sense of emotional intimacy, but more in a sense of truly knowing your son. it bothers you to a point that on a subconscious level, you ended up having a nightmare about it.

Sometimes nightmares are just nightmares, sometimes in our nightmares, your subconscious is trying to tell you something. I think this nightmare was one of the latter.

Whether or not this is true, you do feel this about yourself.

On the plus side, show me a parent who has no insecurities in their parenting skills and I'll show you a liar. You're a fine parent. You've taken your son to some real cool places. He'll look back at those moments fondly when he's older.

My nightmares usually involve being in a car going backwards and the brakes don't work. That's a whole different beast.

8:30 PM  
Blogger Notta Wallflower said...

ZS!! It's good to see you!! I hadn't thought of my dream in that way, but that's a pretty decent interpretation. Thank goodness I've not had the "car" dream you're speaking of. :-P Hope all has been well with you!

9:04 PM  
Blogger elaine said...

I have a recurring nightmare of misplacing my baby. I am 60 years old and my kids are grown. This "dream baby" is an infant, and it is as though i keep forgetting about it, leaving it here and there and when i remember that i left it somewhere, i panic. it is a very disturbing dream and makes me feel very anxious. what does it mean?

10:34 AM  

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