Mental Preparation
Today and tomorrow I will be in a state of "mental preparation" for my return to work on Wednesday. Going back to work should be a good thing, and for the most part, it is. After all, what would I do at home all day besides sit on my bum and be lazy? I've noticed that I don't always use my free time in useful pursuits. However, I'm not quite ready to return to the source of much of my stress.
Yesterday, I was able to process it a little bit with a third person so that hopefully I can build some helpful routines into my schedule so that I don't get stressed out. 'Cuz when I'm stressed out, everyone suffers. First of all, I have to get back into the mode of evaluating my day (especially when I've had a bad one) and looking for the good things that happened. But even more important than that, it was suggested that I take 15 minutes at the beginning of the day to think about and plan what I'd like to have happen, do some pleasurable reading, or listen to inspirational music. It's not just the idea of positive thinking, but it's also the concept that my day starts out with an activity of my choosing instead of getting up and rushing off to work. Work should not "be" my day - it is only a part of my day. Also, when I explained my feelings about work, I was given three choices - either accept that my workload is crazy and unmanageable and make allowances, work with administration and/or union to change workload size, or change what I'm doing. It's funny because I had never thought of it in such simple terms. I started going through my options and realized that I will not just accept a high workload, because my quality of service suffers, and so does my sanity. If I would have been able to accept it, I would not still be complaining about it after 7 years. I'm not willing to try to "change the system" because I realize it would take a united front (meaning all the SLP's in agreement), which I don't think will happen. Also, to be honest, my heart is not in the fight - maybe it would have been if I'd started younger. Why do I stay in the jobs I do? Because it's a safe place - I'm guaranteed a yearly salary that doesn't change, it allowed me to spend more time with my son when he was younger and not have to find daycare, I've always had decent health care benefits (although I've seen them steadily decline over the years), and a lot of vacation days. But all of these things which I thought were good are not giving me what I want and need, so I'm left with my third option - change.
Yesterday, I was able to process it a little bit with a third person so that hopefully I can build some helpful routines into my schedule so that I don't get stressed out. 'Cuz when I'm stressed out, everyone suffers. First of all, I have to get back into the mode of evaluating my day (especially when I've had a bad one) and looking for the good things that happened. But even more important than that, it was suggested that I take 15 minutes at the beginning of the day to think about and plan what I'd like to have happen, do some pleasurable reading, or listen to inspirational music. It's not just the idea of positive thinking, but it's also the concept that my day starts out with an activity of my choosing instead of getting up and rushing off to work. Work should not "be" my day - it is only a part of my day. Also, when I explained my feelings about work, I was given three choices - either accept that my workload is crazy and unmanageable and make allowances, work with administration and/or union to change workload size, or change what I'm doing. It's funny because I had never thought of it in such simple terms. I started going through my options and realized that I will not just accept a high workload, because my quality of service suffers, and so does my sanity. If I would have been able to accept it, I would not still be complaining about it after 7 years. I'm not willing to try to "change the system" because I realize it would take a united front (meaning all the SLP's in agreement), which I don't think will happen. Also, to be honest, my heart is not in the fight - maybe it would have been if I'd started younger. Why do I stay in the jobs I do? Because it's a safe place - I'm guaranteed a yearly salary that doesn't change, it allowed me to spend more time with my son when he was younger and not have to find daycare, I've always had decent health care benefits (although I've seen them steadily decline over the years), and a lot of vacation days. But all of these things which I thought were good are not giving me what I want and need, so I'm left with my third option - change.
posted by Notta Wallflower at 7:29 AM
4 Comments:
Hey! Reminds me of Roy Scheider in "All That Jazz", though you would not want to wake up like that, I assure you! :)
You have me curious, Michael, because I didn't ever see "All That Jazz". I must add it to my Netflix queue. But if I wake up any worse than I already do, then I'm scared!
Since I go to work so early, the only prep for my day is the music I play on my way to work.
I DO try to take time to mellow out when I get home. Things go so much smoother when I do this. When I don't de-stress, both homeschooling and Z tend to get frantic.
Kitkat - The problem I have had with after work is that I tend to do things that are mindless, which then leads me to ask "is this really making me happy and less stressed?". So now I'm in the process of finding something I'd enjoy after work, but where I will at least be a bit more productive. :-P
TSHS - I've tried "stuffing it" and that definitely doesn't work. It's pretty ugly when it eventually explodes.
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