Nope, I'm not numb yet
Sometimes when I'm at work, I think I might be going "numb", but recently I've found out that it's not happening yet. When it does happen, then it's definitely time for me to do something different, if I haven't already.
Things that really bother me:
"Johnny is just being lazy": Does a teacher realize what a stereotype this is, especially when she's talking about a kid who's not caucasian? Do they ever take into account what might be happening at home? I'm sorry, but Johnny is not automatically lazy because he doesn't live up to your expectations. Instead of labeling him, can you find a way to encourage him in school so he doesn't hate it by the time he's in third grade?
"I wasn't trained for this": This is just a fancy way of passing the buck. I've heard way too many teachers say this to me and it pisses me off to this day. I wasn't trained on how to not hurt after being hit, kicked, bit, spit on. I wasn't trained on how to comfort a child who's not getting his needs met at home. Being an educator means that you keep on learning new things - to provide for the children who are in your care for most of the waking hours of the day.
"How do I fix him?": Children are not cars - they don't need to be fixed. Children are people and each one comes with their "stuff" - like we all do. To ask about fixing someone implies that there is something defective. To imply that means you do not accept that person for who they are - good and bad.
Things that still tug at my heart:
Seeing a parent cry about their child's disability, hearing the anguish parents feel from all the guilt they heap upon themselves because their child has a disability, seeing a child smile at me when they finally "got it", overhearing a student tell one of their friends that "That's my speech teacher - she's the best!".
Things that really bother me:
"Johnny is just being lazy": Does a teacher realize what a stereotype this is, especially when she's talking about a kid who's not caucasian? Do they ever take into account what might be happening at home? I'm sorry, but Johnny is not automatically lazy because he doesn't live up to your expectations. Instead of labeling him, can you find a way to encourage him in school so he doesn't hate it by the time he's in third grade?
"I wasn't trained for this": This is just a fancy way of passing the buck. I've heard way too many teachers say this to me and it pisses me off to this day. I wasn't trained on how to not hurt after being hit, kicked, bit, spit on. I wasn't trained on how to comfort a child who's not getting his needs met at home. Being an educator means that you keep on learning new things - to provide for the children who are in your care for most of the waking hours of the day.
"How do I fix him?": Children are not cars - they don't need to be fixed. Children are people and each one comes with their "stuff" - like we all do. To ask about fixing someone implies that there is something defective. To imply that means you do not accept that person for who they are - good and bad.
Things that still tug at my heart:
Seeing a parent cry about their child's disability, hearing the anguish parents feel from all the guilt they heap upon themselves because their child has a disability, seeing a child smile at me when they finally "got it", overhearing a student tell one of their friends that "That's my speech teacher - she's the best!".
posted by Notta Wallflower at 4:39 PM
13 Comments:
What a great post. I think it's really interesting to hear about your job. All the pressures from different directions. Even though it's frustrating, I think it's wonderful that you can make a difference to kids who really need someone.
tessence - Thanks for that. Even though I complain about my job at times, I never come home with the feeling that I've not done something worthwhile. :-)
Julia - Unfortunately, what happened to you still happens a lot. You're right - it's not just teachers' expectations, but also parents'.
Storm - I agree about people wanting perfection. It's just so unattainable. I always tell my students, "Jeez, if we were all perfect, that would be so boring!"
Justice - Thanks. Right now I don't feel that amazing, but it's still nice to hear. :-)
Notta, it sucks but a lot of kids are misunderstood and misjudged. A learning disability is often labeled "lazyiness" by school administrators and students sometimes do not get the help they need. I am glad that you are helping these children and hopefully changing people's misconceptions in the process.
Angel - hmm... I'm not sure how much I'm changing people's view of kiddos with disabilities. That's one thing I think I don't do very well - mostly because I bite my tongue many times when I should come out and say what I think. My professional goal this year is to provide more inservices for my peers. I did a little bit last year, and I really liked it.
"Johnny is just being lazy"
I've heard this way too many times. I hate hearing that too.
Children are not cars - they don't need to be fixed.
Very well said.
a student tell one of their friends that "That's my speech teacher - she's the best!".
I so wish I was out of my profession and doing something worthwhile like you're doing. That's so awesome. :)
ZS - My dad and I have had this type of talk a few times - about job satisfaction at the end of the day. Quite honestly, I believe that everyone's job is worthwhile. We need x amount of people to do a certain type of work in order for things to run smoothly. Kudos to everyone for the work they do every day. :-)
I just strive to make my children contributing members of society. From there, I hope to encourage them to be more, but they'll always have my love no matter what.
Jason - what more could a child need from a parent? :-)
How many kiddos do you have and what are their ages?
i totally identify with you on this! in my line of work, i get people asking me to fix their children all the time. what they don't realize is that, as the primary caregivers of these children, they're the ones who can "fix" the issues better than anyone else. one of my favorite parts of my job is that i get to tell them that. ahhh yeaaaah!
i really admire the work you do. being a teacher is so difficult, not because of the kids, but mostly because of your fellow adults. i also remembering it being so rewarding that a stayed even when i was feeling annoyed. you rock the house, mama.
You're AWESOME!! We've been through everything you mentioned. I only wish you were here, in our school system. They need somebody to rattle their cage!
Jason, that's EXACTLY(word for word) what my husband and I always say!!
Bert - I was laughing after I posted this because I used to sit in my grad classes and my professors would express their very strong opinions (which they repeated throughout my grad school experience). At any rate, I never thought I would be that way, but after reading my post, I realize that I have my own "jen-isms".
TSHS - I figured that you've been through all of what I've posted - I've read that much of your blog and I think a lot of parents who chose to home-school must have some level of disenchantment with the public school system. I always feel badly when I know parents have had such experiences and it's frustrating and maddening to see what happens to your child as a result.
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