Thursday, November 16, 2006

Blech

That is pretty much how I feel right now. I have been having a writing slump, simply because nothing noteworthy has been happening. Also, if anything exciting did happen, it would have to whack me over the head in order to get my attention.

More things have been going on in my mind than anything else, partly because it's conference time and my mental energy has been focused on parent meetings, testing my students (which they hate), and writing almost 70 progress reports. Gone are the days when teachers could write ambiguous statements about their students' progress like "approaching standard" or "gets along well with others" or "overly talkative in class". Yes, I'm glad those days are gone, because now there is increased accountability. I actually have to prove that my students are making progress towards goals by giving accuracy levels and percent correct in certain tasks. Johnny can tell me 8 out of 10 times what the proper solution is to common problems, but in carry-over tasks, his accuracy drops to below 50%. No, I cannot pull numbers and percents out of my ass - I actually have to collect data, which takes a lot of time. Some of my conferences have gone well - better than I'd expected. Some parents are actually grateful to me for the services I provide. A few of my parents actually take their kids to private therapy and/or work with them at home. It's quite refreshing. Others blame "school personnel" for their child's behaviors. "Timmy would not have the problems he has if the school would quit labeling him". Personally, I've no more patience left for parents playing the "race" card. Your kid has problems because he does not make wise decisions, he hurts others, and ends up alienating his peers because of his actions. Plain and simple. And, just in case you wondered, "no, I cannot fix it so that other kids will want to interact with your child". One thing that's very frustrating about what I do is that I can teach a child just about any kind of social interaction... and they can actually show carryover. But I cannot make others not have preconceived ideas about the kids I serve. The kids I work with are different, and it shows. Above a certain grade level (about third grade and above), kids get less accepting of differences as each year passes. I agree that it's a problem, and it makes me sad. I don't have a good answer about how to make it different because I'm not in control of others' ideas, expressions, and actions.

On the home front, I'm not particularly motivated to do too much. The place is a mess, and usually I would care enough to do something about it. But I don't care. When work "takes over", then everything else sort of suffers because I use all my energy to channel into work, mostly to keep a level head and not spout off, even when there's nothing I'd like better. To make things worse, I have something in my personality that prevents any kind of change when I am pushed by external forces. It has to come from me. Hopefully I will be back to normal soon, whatever that is.

3 Comments:

Blogger Angelique said...

Notta, it sucks to be in a slump but I always thought it was our internal batteries recharging when we take some time off and do nothing. I agree that the race card is used way too much and people who use are trying to not be held accountable for their own decisions or lack of them. Free will is a great thing. Besides school only teaches kids academics, parents teach them to grow up to be good people.

6:46 AM  
Blogger tshsmom said...

angelique, more and more people expect the school system and daycare to teach their kids EVERYTHING. Sad, isn't it?

Notta, be brave; post pictures of your mess. It's very freeing. Vancouver Voyeur, Dollface and I have all done it. Dollface named it our "Clutter Club". It makes you realize that we all have the same mundane problems. ;)

12:14 PM  
Blogger Notta Wallflower said...

Angelique - That's true, it's just that I wish I didn't feel so guilty when I leave things a mess in favor of taking the down time that I need. I wish more parents actually took the time to teach their kids. That is a big issue with me lately.

TSHS - I am so scared to post my "mess". But you're right, I always feel better when I see that someone else is having similar issues.

4:06 PM  

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