Don't Dumb It Down
Okay, I have several pet peeves (one of which I "inherited" from my mom - don't chew with your mouth open). But high up on that list is when I see mothers "babytalk" to their kids. I'm not talking about simplifying language for a baby, but I'm talking about doing the cutesy sing-song voice. I was a witness to such fowl language the other day at work when a mother came in to the work room to make copies. First of all, babies aren't supposed to be in the workroom, since there are many dangerous things for them to get into. But worse is when I have to listen to this parent "dumb it down" for her child. Since when is being direct with children a bad thing? I've actually been criticized for my direct style by a parent of a student I work with. When did it become preferable to treat children like they are lesser human beings? By talking down to children, aren't we sending them the message that they are not smart or capable enough to understand what adults are saying? If you start out in the beginning expecting that your child will learn the language he or she is exposed to, without "cutesy-ing" it up, they will more than likely rise to the occasion. For more information on how to encourage language development in your child, here are some useful links:
American Speech Language and Hearing Association
Hanen Centre
Chart on Emergent Language Skills at Various Ages
American Speech Language and Hearing Association
Hanen Centre
Chart on Emergent Language Skills at Various Ages
posted by Notta Wallflower at 8:48 AM
13 Comments:
Julia - Some kids who are 7 or 8 have trouble with "r" - like your little one. She might outgrow it, but she might need speech therapy. Kind of too soon to tell, at this point. My son had trouble with "l" when he was little, but outgrew it.
This is one of my pet peeves too! Both of our kids talked early, correctly(for the most part), and have huge vocabularies.
When my daughter was 2, she got in a huge tug of war with my sister-in-law, over a toy. My sil finally blew a gasket and screamed "What's WRONG with this kid? I keep saying Ta-Ta and she won't give it to me!"
Me: "What the hell does Ta-Ta mean?"
sil: "Thank you"
Me: "Just ask her if you can please look at her toy, and say THANK YOU when she gives it to you"
sil: "EVERYBODY knows what Ta-Ta means!"
Me: "WE don't! Try using REAL words!"
To this day, my sil still thinks we were ridiculous for speaking normally to our kids.
TSHS - I spoke to my son normally and read to him every day. He is like your kids - strong vocabulary and verbal skills. Strong in reading. The problem is, I didn't push math enough when he was young - that's his weak area. By the way, I've never known that "ta ta" is supposed to mean "thank you". :-P
OOOH, this is a HOT topic in our family...I REFUSE to babytalk my kids and would often have them ask me to conjugate a word several times before they understood the concept, but after that, they OEN the word and can recognize it when they see it again. This has often prompted stuff like... twin 2 asked me the other day "what is a wet dream"? I I kinda folded and said " I'm on the phone, ask Pappa!;-)
sorry for the typo..they OWN the word and can then use it and recognize it.
jersey - I just love "those" questions. My son doesn't want to talk to me about those things, so I told him "that's fine, but you need someone to talk to about these things - someone you feel comfortable with". I don't like it, but at least he's got someone knowledgable to talk to.
t2b uses a pacifier at night ( and sometimes during the day, b/c I am not up for a fight. ) It has NOT left the house with us or been in public since t2b was 18 months old. t2b calls it a night-night, however he DOES know the word pacifier and he WILL use it on occassion.
cutesy talk drives me, too !
Hm. I thought we were supposed to use a special, higher-pitched and yes, singsong voice when talking to babies. I'm no speech therapist, of course, it's just what I read in a book about how children learn to speak. I can't remember what it was called.
I certainly did it instinctively w/ Nutmeg in her first year, and I'd say I still speak with her a little differently than I do w/ adults. That doesn't mean that I use a fake speech impediment or use baby words for most things, it just means that my tone is different. Also, unlike at least one of my friends, I refuse to say "urinate" and "make a bm" with her. Come on! I don't think I'm going to ruin her by saying "poopy" and "peepee."
LOL Tessence! I still slip occassionally and ask my 13 yr old son if he has to go "potty". He's NOT amused! ;)
D - Pacifiers are different - it was hard to break that habit with my son.
Tessence - I'm not talking about changing intonation or simplifying language. I'm talking about the "cutesy wootsie" talk - there is nothing from what I've seen in working with children that says that they need to be talked to that way. I'm also not talking about using very very proper language with them. All I'm saying is to use some common sense and talk to kids normally. Of course, there's nothing to say that making your speech sickeningly sweet is going to ruin your child's language. I've seen people do horrible things to their children, and amazingly, they still learn.
TSHS - I think everyone does that every once in a while. :-P
I like your thinking!
I speak to my kids plainly. However, I will say that I find it to be totally ridiculous when a parent is 'reasoning' to a two year old using words that the child is not able to respond to.
Example:
after 'johnny' pushed my son off the playgym at a park, johnny's mother said," johnny, are you feeling territorial today?"
I about died.
I said," No. He's not feeling territorial; he's being mean. I'm feeling pretty territorial right now though."
Grrr.
Stupid! I used to use plain 'cave-man' talk with my children until they were old enough to understand bigger, more descriptive words. For instance, when my son bit another child at church, I looked him square in the face and said, "No Bite!"
He got it.
I would not say," Ryan, we do not put our mouths on others and then proceed to sink our teeth into their skin in order to demonstrate our frustration."
Ryan would hear," Ryan, blah blah blah blah, teeth, blah blah blah."
I have to tell you: I have totally told your Prince dream ! that was an awesome post !
( oh, and I said flippin' "meaty-meat" to the kids last ngiht about dinner! )
I made dirty rice and they wanted to know what is was and I said meaty-meat. Hmmm. I need to be slapped with a noodle-noodle !
Sadie - Yeah, I use simplified phrases with my students who are language delayed. They simply cannot handle longer phrasing. And babies who are learning language do need things to be simplified to a point. I also agree with you - there is no point to using ultra-proper language. I'm talking about the people who take "baby talk" to the extreme. I just can't stomach it - it makes me want to hurl. :-P
D - I'm trying to remember if I used any special words or phrases with my son, but I don't think I did. We have "code" now that he's a teenager and we both watch and enjoy the same movies. That's about as specialized as it gets at our place. :-P
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