World's Most Useless Things
Eye Protector for ChickensAndrew Jackson, JR
patented December 10, 1902
After going to Safeway to go grocery shopping and unsuccessfully attempting to use a temporary check from my newly opened Wells Fargo account, I decided to make a list of the world's most useless things. On top of my list is temporary checks. Who likes temporary checks and who actually accepts them? The only people I can give them to are companies where I have to send in a payment through regular mail. What choice do they have but to accept them? In the midst of my extreme irritation at not being able to pay for my groceries with my temporary checks, I got to thinking about all of the other useless things in the world. Here is a list of what I could come up with, in no particular order:
- those flyers I get in the mail that advertise weekly specials at places I never visit
- spam email that tells me "get a bigger penis in 10 days" (keep in mind I'm a lady)
- the Lifetime channel on cable
- fortune cookies
- miniature decks of playing cards
- those little plastic parachute men whose parachutes always come untied after one use
- bronzed bibles (about which I used to participate in prank phone calls attempting to sell)
- chia pets
- caffiene free diet coke
- FM transmitters for IPOD's
- finger weights
- fat-free cookies/candy
posted by Notta Wallflower at 4:42 PM
4 Comments:
I totally agree about the caffeine free Diet Coke, it's just about useless. I agree about the spam, I am so not interested in Viagra or a penis enlargement due to the fact that I don't have a penis. It sucks that Safeway didn't take your temporary checks, I had the same problem when I had those useless pieces of paper. I am suprised that Safeway is still around. Here in Texas, they all closed down about 10 or more years ago.
Julia - I had no idea that they could position themselves in such a way to poke eyes out. :-P
Angel - Yeah, I never saw a Safeway when I was in Texas - just those HEB stores. ;-)
two things:
1) lowfat or soy cheese
2) an air conditioned car in san francisco
Julia - I knew there was a good reason that I never had chickens. :-P
Storm - Lifetime Movies? I guess that's one thing we can agree to disagree on. :-)
Justice - Yeah, I get those stupid emails also and I'm an apartment dweller.
Bert - good ones to add to my list. Isn't cheese supposed to be fatty? That's what makes it good...
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